Those days...

My sweet little redhead baby, who used to do nothing but coo and smile, and then smile and coo, has officially turned into a toddling screamer. And I don't mean the occasional yelp or screech when he's hungry or injured: we're talking a full-on, parrot-pitched, give-me-everything-you've-got scream, every 5-7 minutes (or more if there's actually something drastically wrong, like his brother took his bunny cracker, or he wants to get out of his highchair.)

Ah, parenting.

The other day I was at the grocery store at the end of a long, rainy day. I had Sam and Ben with me, and by the time I reached the check-out, Ben was doing his opera-like scream (Steph, you would've been impressed) at the top of his lungs. I'm not sure why. Hunger? Boredom? The snacks in his hands weren't exciting enough? Who knows. His dear brother was running up and down the area on the other side of the check-out, taking gift cards off the rack by the dozen, and offering snacks (that we hadn't yet paid for) to all of the other children who were also trying to get out of dodge.

It was one of those days.

The cashier winced as Ben let yet another scream fly. I smiled at her, and delivered what has become my standard response as of late:

"He's the third child", I said kindly, "He's already learned that if you don't get what you want in life, you just have to scream louder."

She looked me straight in the eye and said, "I never gave in to my daughter's screams."

I looked at Ben - one hand overflowing with crackers and an animal cookie, the other clutching a gigantic cheese stick from the bakery - and answered confidently, "Oh yeah, I don't either."

It was one of those days.

Though when I sit down to think about it, it seems that there have been a lot of "those days" lately. Days when my patience is tested, over and over again- and I flat-out fail the test. Days when I think my children actually have an "off button" in their brain when they hear my voice. Days when I think that I would truly be happy if my boys could get along with each other for just one day - just one! Days when I actually feel a rush of joy or pleasure or relief when I see another child having a full-on temper tantrum in public (the more outrageous, the better - which I think officially qualifies me as a bad person, by the way).

But there is comfort here. There is comfort in the conversations with other parents in the school yard, or waiting for swimming lesson to finish, or on the sidelines at the soccer game. There is comfort in the collective sighs we breathe, and the sympathetic looks we give each other. There is comfort in knowing that we all have parenting struggles of some kind, on some days. There is comfort in knowing we are not alone in this crazy, chaotic adventure we call parenting.

And I know no one ever said it would be easy. And I know there are more good moments than bad moments. And I know children are precious and the fruit of the earth and yada yada yada.

I love my kids. Don't get me wrong. I looooooooooooove my kids. And I love being a parent.

It's just that some days, being a parent is fucking hard.

What else can I say?

It's just one of those days.

(And you should read this post quickly because as Max reads - and frequently reads my email and my blog - I will need to delete this post soon. You know, so I don't have to explain what fuck is.)

Ah, parenting.

The screamer.

 

Comments

[Jenny Bender]

Hi Shannon,
Last fall I really wanted to have a chat with my friend that had called from Ireland. So I let the kids eat as much Hallowe'en candy as they wanted for about an hour! You do whatever you have to do to survive! I love the image of Ben with his hands full of bakery goods. It IS fucking hard a lot of days but then they make you laugh by seeing the world in an entirely different way! Just the other day I was shopping with Anne and picked up a box of Cottenelle wipes. Anne asked, "Are those for the dog?" I said, "No, they are for people. Why?" She asked, "Well why is there a picture of a dog on the box?" Hmm. Maybe I should ask the marketing people at Cottonelle about that...
Jenn

[Joanna Kovats]

You are an amazing parent and we ALL have "those days"...especially when our babes are toddlers and I truly think it's preparation for the teenange years!
Anyways....the lady at the check out should know better. I hate those patronising parents who give you "that" look.
As "fuck" is the word of the post...I say "fuck you" to her!!